The line graph shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households with internet access in a European country between 1999 and 2004.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line graph illustrates how internet access changed in both urban/suburban areas and rural regions of one European country during the period from 1999 to 2004. In 1999, only a small number of households had internet connections in this country. Urban and suburban areas showed a higher percentage, which wasaccounting for about 12%, while rural areas were having much lesshad significantly fewer internet users, with approximately 5% of households connected to the internet. The next few years showsubsequent years demonstrated bsignificant improvements in both areas. By the year 2001, the proportion of urban and suburban households withat had internet access grew up to 25%, andwhile rural areas also increased bu, albeit more slowly, reaching around 15%. This difference between city and countrysideurban and rural areas continued throughout the period. When we look at the end of period in 2004, we can see that By the end of the observed period in 2004, internet access in urban/suburban regions reached almost 45% of all households, which is very bigrepresenting a substantial increase from the beginning. Rural households also grew a lotexperienced considerable growth during this time, but still staylagged behind, with about 30% having internet connection.s. In conclusion, even although both urban/suburban and rural areas experienced significant growth in internet access during these years, cityurban regions alwaysconsistently maintained a higher percentage of connected households compared to countrysiderural areas. The gap between these two regions remained quiterelatively stable throughout the observed period.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the key trends in internet access for urban/suburban and rural households from 1999 to 2004, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the specificity of data points and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, refining transitions, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more precise data comparisons and using a wider range of cohesive devices. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining formality and clarity throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the phrase 'the next few years showed big improvements' could be more formally expressed as 'the subsequent years demonstrated significant improvements.' Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be varied to enhance the overall fluency.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions. For example, 'only small number of households' should be 'only a small number of households,' and 'which was about 12%' could be more clearly stated as 'which accounted for approximately 12%.' These errors affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'illustrates,' 'percentage,' and 'households' being relevant. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'internet access' and 'households,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. For example, 'internet connectivity' or 'residences' could be used to add variety.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in internet access for urban/suburban and rural households from 1999 to 2004. However, it could be improved by providing more specific data points and a clearer comparison of the trends over the years. For example, mentioning the exact percentage increase for rural areas in 2001 would enhance the analysis.
7.5

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