The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line graph provides information about how manythe percentage of exports from Australia go to four countryies between 1990 and 2012. Overall, the line for Japan line began the highest but decreased over time, while the China lline for Chinea started low but increased a lot, andsignificantly. In contrast, the lines for the US and South Korea lines stayremained relatively stable throughout the period. In 1990, about 25% of Australia's exports went to Japan, making it the largest of the four countries. However, this figure decreased steeply to around 18% by 2012. On the other hands, exports to China wasere only about 3% in 1990, but this increased dramatically to nearly 25% by 2012, surpassing Japan. Meanwhile, the percentages of exports going to the US and South Korea did not change as muchsignificantly, hovering at around 8-10% and 5-7% respectively throughout the whole entimre period. TAlthough there wasere some fluctuations but, there was no major upward or downward trend likefor these two countries, unlike the trends observed for Japan and China. In conclusion, exports from Australia shifted away from Japan and towards China between 1990 toand 2012, while exports to the US and South Korea remained more constants as a percentage of the total.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the key trends in Australian exports to the four countries over the specified period, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a logical structure and appropriate vocabulary, with some effective expressions used. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more precise data regarding the US and South Korea, as well as enhanced cohesion through varied linking words. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and ensuring clarity in the description of trends. Further improvements could involve incorporating more synonyms to avoid repetition and providing additional specific data points. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, phrases like 'on the other hand' and 'meanwhile' are used, but the overall flow could benefit from clearer transitions between points. More varied linking words would enhance cohesion.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'provide' instead of 'provides,' and 'the Japan line' should be 'the line for Japan.' These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical mistakes and aim for more complex sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good expressions like 'decreased steeply' and 'increased dramatically.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'export' and 'line.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or rephrase sentences to avoid redundancy.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in Australian exports to the four countries over the specified period. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in certain areas, such as the specific percentages for the US and South Korea. To improve, the writer could include more precise data and ensure that all relevant trends are clearly articulated.
6.5

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