The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The pictures is showing one an industrial area of Norbition town. It is showingThey depict the current map and the future plan after developing this site. Both maps have a railway track on top ofat the mapstop, with a river onat the bottom side. In the present map, we can see the area is filled bywith many types of factoryies. There is a car park and staff carparking also on the left side near tohe railway track. On the right side, theire is a storage area for roaw materials, I think. River is going onThe river runs along the southern border of the site. However, the future planned map is verry different from then existing map. In the future, the factoryies will be removed, and the area will have a housing estate with a school and a park. The storage alsorea will also be gone, and the river will be broader after developpment. The car park will stay onremain on the northern side with residentieal parking. Overall, it is clear that the maps is showing the conversion of an industrial area to a residential area in the future, by replacing the factories with housing and related facilitises, and also by enhancing the river and adding a park and school in the estate.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by summarizing the main features of the maps and making comparisons between the current and future developments. Key strengths include the identification of the main changes and the overall structure of the response. However, critical areas for improvement include clarity in descriptions, grammatical accuracy, and vocabulary variety. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence flow, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific details about the types of factories and the exact changes in the river's width. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly', would help to better link the ideas. For instance, instead of 'the future planned map is very different than existing map', it could be rephrased to 'in contrast to the existing map, the future planned map shows significant changes'.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('pictures is showing'), incorrect article usage ('the factorys will be removed'), and awkward phrasing ('the storage also will be gone'). These errors affect the clarity of the message. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure subject-verb agreement is maintained throughout.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'factorys', 'developpment', 'residentiel', 'relatd') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the use of more varied vocabulary would enhance the response. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'area', synonyms like 'site' or 'location' could be employed.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the maps and making comparisons between the current and future developments. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and could benefit from more detailed descriptions and clearer comparisons. For example, mentioning specific types of factories or the exact changes in the river's width would enhance the response.
5.0

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