The maps below show changes in the town of Hillingford between 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The maps showillustrate the changes in the town of Hillingford between the years 2000 and 2015. The maps show the differenty depict the various areas of the town and how they have changevolved over the 15-year period. In 2000, the town hafeatured a large areaexpanse of farmland in the north and west of the town. There was also, alongside a small area of housing area in the south-east corner of t. The town. In the center of the town there was a small area centre contained a modest selection of shops and a school. To the east of the town centere, there was a factory and to the south there was a small park. By 2015, the town, while a small park was located to the south. By 2015, Hillingford had undergone significant changes. The area oftransformations. The farmland area had been reduced and replaced by housing developments. The housing areasector in the south-east had also been expanded. In the town centere, the shops had been expandedincreased in size, and a new supermarket had been built. Tconstructed. Additionally, the school had also been expandnlarged. The factory to the east of the town center had beenre was replaced by offices, and the park to the south had been expatended. In conclusion Overall, over the 15-year period, the town of Hillingford undexperwient significantced considerable changes. The areaduction of farmland was reduced and replaced by housing, while the town center saw anin favour of housing, the expansion of shops and the addiintroduction of a supermarket. The factory was replaced by offices and the park was expanded in the town centre, as well as the replacement of the factory with offices and the enlargement of the park, highlight the town's development.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the maps, detailing the changes in Hillingford between 2000 and 2015. Key strengths include a clear identification of significant areas and their transformations, as well as a generally logical organization of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the use of cohesive devices and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions between paragraphs, and providing a more concise overview. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more complex sentence structures and a wider range of synonyms to enhance lexical richness. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, phrases like 'In conclusion' could be replaced with more varied transitions to enhance flow. Additionally, some sentences could be better linked to improve overall coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate sentence forms. There are minor errors, such as the repetitive structure of some sentences, but these do not significantly impede understanding. More complex sentence structures could be employed to further enhance grammatical range.
7.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'undergo', 'expanded', and 'replaced' demonstrating a good range. However, there is some repetition of phrases such as 'the town' and 'area of housing', which could be varied to enhance lexical richness. Incorporating synonyms or more descriptive language would improve this aspect.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the maps, detailing the changes in Hillingford between 2000 and 2015. It identifies key areas such as farmland, housing, shops, and the factory, and describes their transformations. However, the conclusion could be more concise and focused on the most significant changes rather than reiterating all points.
7.5

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