The maps below show the changes experienced by the town of Harton at the beginning of the 21st Century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagrams show the changes from the early 2000s to the present day in the town of Harton. The main changes were in housing, shops, and leisure facilities. Firstingly, in the early 2000s, there was a small village in the northern part of the town, but it hads grown considerably into a big housing estatesubstantial residential development in the present-day map. There was also a countryside area in the northeast of the town in the first map, which has disappeared in the second map as it was replaced by a large shopping center.re. Other major differences are seen in the south-east part of Harton, where there was mainly countryside in the early 2000s. However, now it has now been developed into new leisure facilities, which havinclude a sports centre, sailing club, and golf course. Finally, the sizes of some buildings have grownincreased in the present day compared to the past. The most notable changes are the primary school and the shops, whoich have almost doubled in size. In conclusion, there werehave been many significant changes in Harton from the early 21st century untill now, especially in housing to the north, the construction of a shopping centere, and leisure facilities, as well as the expansion of some existing buildings.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the maps and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the specificity of details regarding the changes and improving the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary, and ensuring proper paragraph separation. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific details about the locations of new facilities and varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, phrases like 'firstly' and 'finally' are used, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. More varied cohesive devices would enhance the flow of the writing.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'where was mainly countryside' instead of 'where there was mainly countryside' and 'compare to the past' instead of 'compared to the past'. These errors affect clarity and accuracy, but the overall meaning is still conveyed.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'nortern' instead of 'northern' and 'untill' instead of 'until'. Additionally, phrases like 'big housing estate' could be replaced with more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'substantial residential development'.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the maps and making relevant comparisons. However, it could be improved by providing more specific details and clearer distinctions between the changes. For example, mentioning the exact locations of the new facilities or the scale of the housing estate would enhance clarity.
7.0

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