The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time.

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The two maps illustrate how a school has changed between 1985 and the present day. Overall, the school campus has undergone significant expansions and renovations over this period of time. In 1985, the school grounds consisted of a single building for classrooms, a small playground area behind it, and a parking lot to the right-hand side of the building. There wasere also some trees around the perimeter of the school grounds. By contrast, in the present-day map, we can see that the school property has expanded significantly. The original school buildingstructure has been extended with two new wings added on, one on either side. The playground area behind the school building has also been made much considerably enlarger.d. Additionally, several new facilities have been constructed on the expanded school grounds. Next to the enlarged playground, there is now a sports field for outdoor athletics and games. To the right of the sports field is a new swimming pool building. The parking lot has also been movrelocated further back and enlarged, with a new access road added from the main road to the parking lotarea. Finally, there is a new bus stop area in front of the school. In conclusion, the maps demonstrate how the school has grown and improved its facilities over the past few decades to better serve its students. The original school buildingstructure has been extended, new sports facilities have been added, and transportation infrastructure has been enhanced, reflecting the school's development since 1985.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively describes the changes in the school from 1985 to the present, showcasing a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a well-organized structure and logical progression of ideas, which contribute to the overall coherence of the writing. The use of appropriate vocabulary demonstrates a good range, although there were instances of repetition that could be improved with synonyms. Critical areas for improvement include the incorporation of specific quantitative data or comparisons to enhance detail and the use of more varied cohesive devices to improve fluency. Minor grammatical errors, such as 'right hand side' instead of 'right-hand side', were corrected to enhance accuracy. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include adding specific numerical data regarding the size of the playground or the number of new facilities to provide a more comprehensive overview. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining formality and clarity throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link information. However, the use of more varied cohesive devices could enhance the overall fluency.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing displays a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'right hand side' which should be 'right-hand side', but these do not impede understanding. Overall, the grammatical accuracy is strong, contributing to the clarity of the response.
8.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'expanded', 'renovations', and 'facilities' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some instances of repetition, such as 'school building' and 'playground', which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
7.5
Task Achievement
The response effectively addresses the task by clearly describing the changes in the school from 1985 to the present. It provides a comprehensive overview of the developments, including the expansion of the building and the addition of new facilities. To improve further, the writer could include specific quantitative data or comparisons to enhance the detail.
8.0

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