The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The given maps illustrate how the village of Stokeford haves changed between the years 1930 and 2010. Overall, the village has experienced significant development and expansion over the period of 80 years. In 1930, Stokeford was a small settlement with a few houses clustered around the main road passing through the centere of the village. There was also a post office located along this road. To the west of the residential area was a small forested region, and to the east was a vast farmland area that takingook up most of the map. By contrast, the map of Stokeford in 2010 shows a dramatic change. The village has grown considerably in size, with many more houses and buildings spreading out from the original centere. A school haves been constructed in the northern part of the expanded village. To the south, a new shopping center isre has been built, providing retail amenities for a larger population. The post office remains in it's original location. While some farmland still exists to the east, much of it has been replaced by a golf course and a larger forested park area to the west, suggesting a shift towards recreational land use. In summary, over the course of 80 years, Stokeford has transformed from a tiny farming village to an expanded settlement with modern amenities such as a school and shops. Forestland and farmland have been preserved to an extent but alsohave also been converted for leisure purposes like golfing.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the maps and makes relevant comparisons between 1930 and 2010, demonstrating a good understanding of the task. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, which affected the overall clarity. Additionally, the use of more cohesive devices and varied vocabulary would enhance coherence and lexical resource. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and improving sentence flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific data or figures to support descriptions and varying repetitive phrases with synonyms. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to improve the flow. For example, using more cohesive devices to connect the changes in land use would enhance coherence. Phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could be used to better connect ideas.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as 'have changed' instead of 'has changed', 'experience' instead of 'experienced', and 'it's' instead of 'its'. These errors affect the overall accuracy of the writing. While the sentence structures are varied, the presence of these mistakes indicates a need for more careful proofreading to enhance grammatical accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'development', 'expansion', and 'recreational land use' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'forest' and 'farmland', which could be varied. Using synonyms or more descriptive language would improve the lexical resource score.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the maps and makes relevant comparisons between 1930 and 2010. However, it could be improved by providing more specific data or figures to support the descriptions, which would enhance the clarity and depth of the analysis.
7.5

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