The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I strongly agree that making people's lifeves better should be the main goal of science. In my opinion, scientific research must focus on solving problems that affect humans every day, even though some people think science should just try to understand how things work without thinking aboutconsidering practical use. When I look at medical science, I can see many examples where research has made a big difference in our lives. For example, scientists have found ways to cure diseases that used to kill many people before. In my country, when I was young, my grandmother told me stories about how many children got very sick from simple infections, but now we have medicine that can help them get bettrecover quickly. This shows how science that focuses on helping people can bring really importtruly significant changes to society. Another point I want to make is that when science aims to improve life, it also helps solve bigmajor problems in our world. LikeFor instance, when researchers work on makdeveloping clean energy, they are not just studying interesting things aboutaspects of physics, but; they are trying to fixaddress pollution that makes many people sick. I have seen in my city how air gets very bad somequality can deteriorate at times, and I thinkbelieve scientists who work on electric cars and solar energy are doing very important work for all of us. However, I must sayacknowledge that some people might think science should just tryaim to learn new things without thinking aboutconsidering how to useapply them. ButNevertheless, I don't agree with this ideaperspective because I believe knowledge becomes more valuable when we can use it to help others. In my experience as a student, I always feel more motivated when I can see how what I learn can make a real difference in people's lives. In conclusion, I strongly believe that science's main purpose should be making life betterto improve life for people. While discovering new things is important, using scientific knowledge to solve real problems and help humans live better lives should be the priority of scientific research.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, clearly expressing a strong agreement with the idea that the main aim of science should be to improve people's lives. Key strengths include relevant examples from medical science and clean energy, which support the argument well. The structure is generally clear, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point, and the use of cohesive devices aids in linking ideas. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The essay could benefit from a more structured acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would enhance the balance of the argument. Additionally, there is some repetition of vocabulary, particularly the words 'science' and 'people', which could be varied to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Minor grammatical errors, such as 'making people's life better' (should be 'lives'), should also be addressed for greater accuracy. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing vocabulary variety, and improving transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more complex sentence structures and varying the use of synonyms to enrich the lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'for example', 'another point I want to make') effectively links the ideas. To further improve coherence, the writer could use more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'making people's life better' (should be 'lives') and some awkward phrasing, but these do not significantly impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, the writer should aim for more complex sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout.
7.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Phrases like 'big difference', 'important changes', and 'real problems' are clear and relevant. However, there is some repetition of words such as 'science' and 'people', which could be varied with synonyms or paraphrasing to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay clearly addresses the prompt by expressing a strong agreement with the statement that the main aim of science should be to improve people's lives. It provides relevant examples, such as advancements in medical science and clean energy, to support the argument. However, the essay could be improved by briefly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint in a more structured manner, which would enhance the overall balance of the argument.
8.0

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