The most important role of science should be to improve peoples's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree with the statement that science should be for improveing peoples's lives. Because science has helped us understand the world better and made our lives more comfortable and convenient. Firstly, science has led to many advances in the medical field. Medicines and treatments hasve saved countless lives and helped people live longer and healthier lives. For example, vaccines have prevented diseases like polio and measles, and new drugs have helped treat cancer and other seriuous illnesses. Without thisese advances, many more people would suffer and die from diseases. Secondly, science has also improved our daily lives in many ways. Technology like smartphones, computers, and the internet has made communication and access to information much easier and faster. Sciensce has also led to the development of new materials and products that make our lives more convenient, such as plastic and microwave ovens. These innovations have made our lives more comfrortable and efficient. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the main purpose of science should be to benefeit people's lives. Through advances in medicine and technology, science has already made significant contributions to improving human well-being and quality of life. As science continues to progeress, it has the potentaial to solve even more problems and make our lives even better in the future.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by arguing that science should improve people's lives, supported by relevant examples from the medical field and technology. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as logical sequencing of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing counterarguments or limitations of science, enhancing coherence with varied linking phrases, and correcting numerous spelling and grammatical errors that hinder clarity. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating counterarguments to strengthen the argument and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and there is a basic use of cohesive devices. However, the flow could be improved with more varied linking phrases and clearer transitions between ideas. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between points.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'Medicins and treatment has save'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'has help', 'has also improv'), and awkward constructions. These errors affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some appropriate terms related to science and technology. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'peoples's', 'staement', 'livs', 'countles', 'helthier', 'smartphons', 'informaton', 'develoment', 'mor', 'comfrotable', 'efficnt', 'benefet', 'signifcant', 'improvng', 'potentail', 'futur') that hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement that science should improve people's lives. It presents relevant examples, particularly in the medical field and technology, to support this viewpoint. However, the argument could be strengthened by acknowledging counterarguments or discussing the limitations of science in improving lives. Additionally, there are several spelling errors that detract from the overall clarity.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?