The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party explain why you won't be able to attend the party give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Mr and Mrs Smith, I was very happy when I received an invitatioon for Chris's surprise birthday party. Thank you very much for inviting me! I think that Chris will be very surprised and happydelighted when he/she sees all the family and friends gathered together to celebrate his/her birthday. Chris always enjoys spending time with family and friends and I think that he/sloved ones, and I believe he will be very happythrilled to see everyone. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the party. I have an important exam on the same day, and I need to prepare for it. I am very sad that I cannot come to the party and celebrate with Chris and everyone else. I hope that you will have a greatwonderful time at the party and that Chris will truly enjoy the surprise. Even though I cannot come to the party, I would still like to see Chris and celebrate his/her birthday. I was thinking that maybeperhaps we could meet the weekend after the party and go for a lunch together. We could go tovisit Chris's favourite restaurant, and I could give him/her my birthday present then. I will call Chris next week to plan something. Thank you again for the invitation, and I hope that you will have a greatfantastic time at the party. Best wishes, [Your Name]
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, demonstrating a clear understanding of the context and purpose. Key strengths include a friendly tone and a logical structure that guides the reader through the writer's thoughts. However, there are critical areas for improvement, such as enhancing the personal touch by including more specific details about Chris's interests and the party itself. Additionally, smoother transitions between ideas would improve coherence. The structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, adjusting verb forms for subject-verb agreement, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more complex sentence structures and additional descriptive language to enrich the content. The tone used is appropriate for a personal letter, maintaining warmth and friendliness throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother transitions. For example, the transition between expressing regret for not attending and suggesting an alternative meeting could be more fluid.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, such as 'invitatioon' (spelling) and 'enjoy' (should be 'enjoys' to match the subject). These minor mistakes affect the overall accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to showcase a higher grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with phrases like 'surprise birthday party' and 'important exam.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'happy' and 'see,' which could be varied for a richer lexical range. Using synonyms or more descriptive language would enhance the writing.
7.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task effectively, explaining why Chris will enjoy the party, stating the reason for not attending, and suggesting an alternative plan to meet. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific details about Chris's interests or the party itself to enhance the personal touch.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Your ID card has been stolen. Write to the Local Police Station, giving details of: - who you are - what happened - ask what you should do to get a new ID card

Part 1 (General)
7.0

The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema visits by different age groups from 1996 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. Say how you think the company should spend the money.

Part 1 (General)
6.0

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Part 1 (General)
7.0

You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Write a letter to the library manager: Describe what you were trying to find Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you