The picture shows the process of making cherry jam. Describe the process.

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The picture showings how cherry jam is makde. There isare cherries that are ripe and red in colour. They look fresh and juicy, ready for make jam with theto be made into jam. The first step of the process is to wash the cherries with water, to remove dirt and any leaves or stems still on. Then aattached. After washing, the cherries are cut in half and the pits are removed from inside. N The next step is to put the cutted cherries in a big pot or pan. Sugar is added to the cherries, to make them sweet for the jam. The amount of suggar depends on how much jam is being makde and how sweet you wanting it to be. Then, the pot is put onlaced on the stove and heated until the cherries and sugar start to boil and bubble. As the cherries cook, they getbecome soft and start to break down, releasing juices and mixing with the sugar to form a thick syrup. After cooking for a while, the jam is ready. It is carefully poured into jars or containers, making sure not to spill. The jars are sealed tightly with lids, to keep the jam fresh and prevent spoiling. The jars of cherry jam are labelled with the date and then stored in a cool, dry place until ready to eat. Making cherry jam is a simple process that results in a delicious, fruity spread that can be enjoyed on toast, in baking, or just by the spoonful!
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively describes the process of making cherry jam, covering the main steps involved. Key strengths include a clear structure and a logical sequence of events. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence structures, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between steps, and enhancing clarity in the description of the process. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more cohesive devices and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall flow. The tone used is appropriate for a general training task, maintaining a clear and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The writing has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. There are instances where transitions between steps could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more linking words and phrases, such as 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally', to guide the reader through the process more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures (e.g., 'how cherry jam make' should be 'how cherry jam is made'). While the writer attempts to use a range of sentences, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, but there are some repetitive words (e.g., 'cherries', 'jam') and spelling errors (e.g., 'cutted', 'sugar'). The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim to use more varied and precise language, as well as correct spelling.
5.5
Task Achievement
The response describes the process of making cherry jam, but it lacks clarity in some areas and contains several grammatical errors. While the main steps are covered, the explanation could be more detailed and organized. For improvement, the writer should ensure that each step is clearly articulated and logically sequenced, perhaps by using more cohesive devices to link ideas.
5.5

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