The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The pie chart is representings the percentage for persons who have been arrestinged inof individuals who were arrested over a five-years until 1994 and period leading up to 1994, while the bar chart is showing the reasons most recently for beingllustrates the most recent reasons for these arrest.s. To begin, in the pie chart we can seeindicates that over half (55%) of arrest happened in 1993-1994. This number is much bs occurred in the years 1993-1994. This figure is significantly higgher compared to other years like, such as 1990-1991, which recorded only havea 5% arrest rate. The arrest knumber of arrests has beepn increasing from year by year and, reaching a peak atin the most recent years. Moreover, when we look atexamining the bar chart for the reason ofs for arrest, the "'other"' category is the highestly with around, accounting for approximately 7.8%. Followingly is the this is larceny-theft at about 7.0%, and 3rd is the drug abuse violations in third place at approximately 5.9%. The lowestly reasons for arrest are fraud and driving whilunder the influenced, each at around 1.3% each. In conclusion, from the data it showing that arrest iss a significant increase ing a lot inrrests in the most recentest years enleading up to 1994. Also,dditionally, the most common reasons are other category,for arrest are categorized as 'other,' larceny-theft, and drugs abuse violations. ItThis suggesting maybs that the government shouldmay need to take actions for to prevent such crimes.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the information from the pie chart and bar chart. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and categories, as well as a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in verb forms and sentence structure, as well as the use of more precise vocabulary. The original phrases 'arrestinged,' 'highestly,' and 'lowestly' were corrected to standard English terms, enhancing clarity. Additionally, the flow of ideas was improved by using more cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity and ensuring that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence. The overview was also enhanced to summarize the main points more effectively. For further improvements, the writer could focus on varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance lexical resource. Additionally, incorporating more detailed comparisons and analyses of the data would strengthen the overall response. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout the essay.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects overall clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('arrestinged'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. While some sentences are clear, the overall grammatical accuracy is affected by these mistakes. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and constructing sentences more carefully.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'highestly' and 'lowestly,' which are not standard English. Additionally, the repetition of 'arrest' could be varied with synonyms. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure that word choices are accurate and idiomatic.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the information from the pie chart and bar chart, but it lacks clarity and precision in some areas. For example, the phrase 'arrestinged' is incorrect, and the explanation of the data could be more detailed. To improve, the writer should ensure accurate terminology and provide clearer comparisons, such as specifying the years more effectively.
5.0

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