The pie charts give clear data about changes in annual expenditure in UK schools during the period between 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The pie charts is showingllustrate the changes ofin spendings in UK school in 3s over three years: 1981, 1991, and 2001. We can seeIt is evident that the spendings i on teachers' salaries iconstitutes the biglargest paortion of sexpendingtures in all of the 3 years, which isthree years, accounting for 50%, 45%, and 45% accordingly. This number do not change a lot. respectively. This figure shows minimal variation over the period. Secondly, the another bsig partnificant category of spendings is on other workers. It isThis category represented 28% in 1981, which iwas higher than the spendings for on resources and furnitures. ThenHowever, it decreased to 22% in both 1991 and 2001. TheIn contrast, spendings for on furnitures and resources increased from 15% in 1981 to 20% in both 1991 and 2001. Finally, the insurance haveaccounted for the smallest paortion of spendings, which is about 7-8% onlyat approximately 7-8%, and doid not change muchsignificantly during the period. In conclusion, the teachers' salaries is always the most high sconsistently represented the highest expendingsture in UK schools, while the insurance is alwaysremained the loweast. The another 2 kinds of spendings have a little changetwo categories of spending exhibited slight changes over the years.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the data presented in the pie charts. Key strengths include the identification of the largest and smallest spending categories, as well as the clear presentation of data over the specified years. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for a clearer overview and more structured comparisons between the years. The original phrasing was awkward in places, which disrupted coherence; these have been corrected for smoother transitions. Additionally, grammatical errors and inaccuracies in vocabulary were addressed, enhancing the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Suggestions for further improvement include varying vocabulary further and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the another big part of spendings' and 'the insurance have the smallest part of spendings,' which disrupt coherence. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('This number do not change'), incorrect article usage ('the insurance have'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several repetitive phrases, such as 'spendings' and 'biggest part.' Additionally, there are some inaccuracies, such as 'the another' instead of 'another' and 'the most high spendings' instead of 'the highest expenditures.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and correct these inaccuracies.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the data presented in the pie charts, highlighting key trends in expenditure. However, it lacks a clear overview and does not fully develop the comparisons between the years. To improve, the writer could provide a more structured summary of the main trends and differences, such as explicitly stating the overall changes in percentages for each category.
6.0

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