The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The charts is showing where are the export goods going in 3 different places at 2010 year the export destinations of goods from three different countries in the year 2010. It can be seen that the countries have very different export locations that vary greatly. Firstly, the country one exports mostly to Asia which is, accounting for 60%. Then, 25% of goods go to the North America region, and 10% go to Europe. Only very littlea small portion, 5%, goes to other countries which not in thenot listed. In contrast, the country 2two sends 45% of its exports to Europe, which is more than four times than the 10% of country one. For the Asia, they export 25%, and forwhile North America and other is 15% each. Thirdly, the third country have the most balance in their export. 35% tregions each receive 15%. Thirdly, country three has the most balanced export distribution. They send 35% to Europe, and thenfollowed by 25% go to North America. Asia receives 20% of exports, which is the least among the three locations, and the remaining 20% is goes to other countries which not show.n. In general, every country has one place where they send most of exports. First countrrimary destination for their exports. Country one primarily chooses Asia, second likewhile country two favours Europe and c. Country three also likeprefers Europe but senddistributes its goods more equalvenly than the others two. The share of exports to other countries' share is highest infor country three and lowest for country one. Therefore, we see how the export patterns changes greatly and different significantly based on whichthe country it is.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by describing the export destinations of three countries in 2010. Key strengths include a clear attempt to compare the export patterns of the countries, which is essential for Task 1. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and the use of a wider range of vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more significantly and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and transitions between points could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'In contrast' and 'Firstly' are used, but the overall organization could be improved by clearly linking the comparisons between countries. More effective use of cohesive devices would enhance clarity.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The charts is showing'), incorrect prepositions ('go to other countries which not in the list'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'the country one' and 'the country two'. The use of terms like 'exports' and 'goods' is correct, but the writer could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more effectively. For example, using 'export destinations' instead of 'where are the export goods going' would improve sophistication.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by describing the export destinations of three countries in 2010. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'the country one' instead of 'country one'. To improve, the writer should ensure that all information is presented clearly and accurately, and avoid vague phrases like 'which not in the list'.
5.0

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