The rise of social media has had an impact on communication. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'In recent times, the rise of social media has changed the way we communicate with each other. There are both advanteages and disadvantages to this development, and I will discuss them in this essay. One of the main advantages of social media is that it allows us to connect with people from all over the world. With just a few clicks, we can send messages to friends and family members who live far away. We can also join online communities and meet new people who share our interests. This can help us feel less lonely and more connected to others. Additionally, social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter can be used to share news and information quickly and easily. HoweverOn the other hand, there are also some disadvantages to the rise of social media. One concern is that it can lead to less face-to-face interaction. When we rely too heavily on social media for communication, we may miss out on the benefits of in-person conversations, such as reading body language and building deeper relationships. SFurthermore, social media can also be a source of distraction and can take away from other important activities, like work or studying. Moreover, there are concerns about privacy and the potential for cyber-bullying on social media platforms. In conclusion, while social media has brought many benefits to communication, such as connecting people across distances and sharing information quickly, it is important to be aware of the potential drawbacks as well. We should strive to find a balance between online and offline communication in order to maintain healthy relationships and stay focused on our goals.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media on communication, presenting a clear position and developing main ideas with relevant examples. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and appropriate vocabulary usage. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the engagement of the introduction and summarizing key points more effectively in the conclusion. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, adjusting verb forms for grammatical accuracy, and adding transitional phrases to improve coherence. Further improvements could involve incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to elevate the lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, but there are moments where transitions between points could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'In contrast' could improve the clarity of the shift from advantages to disadvantages.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are minor errors, such as 'allow' instead of 'allows' and 'advanteges' instead of 'advantages'. These errors do not significantly impede understanding but could be improved for a higher score.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with terms like 'connect', 'communities', and 'distraction' effectively conveying the message. However, there are some spelling errors, such as 'advanteges' and 'mesages', which detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media on communication. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively to enhance clarity.
7.5

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