The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more. Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent years, pollution and traffic jams have become more and moreincreasingly serious problems in cities all over the world. I agree that encourageing citizens to use public transportation instead of their private cars is a good way to alleviate this issue. Firstly, the government should improve the coverage and quality of public transport. In many cities, public transport like buses and metros do not go to every Wwhere, or the frequency is low, it is not making it inconvenient. If cities can build more bus and metro lines arriveto reach more places, and increase the number of buses and train, let thems to come more often, it will be much more easyier for people to travel by public transport. Alsodditionally, if the buses, metros, and stations canare keept clean and comfortable, havewith air conditionering, this will attract more people to ride. Secondly, the government can Uuse policyies to limit cars and pushencourage people to use public transportations. For example, adding more tax when buying cars and oil, Ifuel, as well as increaseing parking fees, thesewill make haveowning a car more expensive. The government can also make some roads only for bus, not allowdesignate certain roads exclusively for buses, prohibiting private cars go from entering. In the city center, can makere, private cars not allow tocould be banned from driveing in, allowing only buses and taxis can enter,. In this way, people will tend to take public transport because it is cheaper and more convenient than using private cars. Of course, public transport still haves some disadvantages compared to private cars. It haves fixed routes and timetables, which means it cannot go anywhere at any time like private cars. Especially if one needs to carry many things, or gotravel with childrens and the eldersly, cars isare more easy. Soconvenient. Therefore, some people will still prefer cars. But I thinkHowever, I believe that if cities Ccan provide a very good public transport, system and limit private cars, most of people will be happy to use public transport, it. This not only reduces traffic jams and pollution, but can also can save money for them. In conclusion, I agree that encourageing people to use public transport can help solve traffic and pollution issues in cities. GThe government should improve the public transport system, and also useimplement policyies to limit private cars, makeing public transport more attractive. Although some people still need to use private cars, but most of citizens can userely on buses and metros.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument in favour of public transport. Key strengths include a well-defined position and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, lexical variety, and the depth of analysis. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing clarity, and improving transitions between points. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples and discussing the broader implications of improved public transport, such as its impact on air quality and social equity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences lack clarity and could be better linked. For example, the transition between the first and second points could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' would enhance the flow of the essay.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward constructions, such as 'encourage citizens use' instead of 'encourage citizens to use' and 'it have fix routes' instead of 'it has fixed routes.' While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. A greater variety of sentence structures and attention to grammatical accuracy would enhance the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with phrases like 'public transport' and 'private cars' appearing frequently. There are attempts at using more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'alleviate' and 'attract,' but the overall range is limited. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing ways to encourage public transport use, presenting a clear position that supports this approach. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of the proposed solutions. For instance, discussing the potential impact of improved public transport on air quality or social equity would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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