The table and pie chart give information about population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The table and chart is showingllustrate the population of Australia by different areas and nationalities. The table has five 5 columns, which isnclude the name of the area, and then the number of peoples living in that area, and also the percentages of Australian-born, percent residents, those from overseas, and percent of aAborigineal peoples. The pie chart is showingdepicts the percentage of peoples living in differentvarious areas of Australia. The biglargest parsegment is the East Coast area, which haveaccounts for 80.3% of the population. The second biglargest is the West and South area, with 11.8%. TIn contrast, the North area comprises only have 1.1% of the population, which is very small compared to other areas. The Central area also haves a smallmodest percentage of 6.8%. In conclusion, the mostsummary, the majority of the population in Australia liveresides in the East Coast area, andwhile the North and Central areas have very few peoples. Alsodditionally, the table showindicates that most of the peoplesulation in Australia areis born in Australiathe country, with a smaller percentage coming from overseas and an even smaller percentage of aAborigine peoplesal people. Overall, the data highlights significant regional disparities in population distribution across Australia, with a clear concentration in the East Coast region.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, summarising the information presented in the table and pie chart. Key strengths of the essay include a clear attempt to describe the data and an overall structure that follows the IELTS guidelines. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific data points and comparisons, as well as enhanced coherence through better transitions and varied vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the flow of ideas, and ensuring that the introduction and overview are clearly defined. Further improvements could involve incorporating more detailed comparisons between the areas and a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, the use of more sophisticated sentence structures would enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are repetitive, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, phrases like 'the biggest part' and 'the second biggest' could be better linked with transitional phrases. Improving the logical progression of ideas would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('the table have' should be 'the table has') and incorrect plural forms ('peoples' should be 'people'). While the overall meaning is clear, the presence of these errors affects the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'peoples' and 'percent.' Additionally, some phrases are awkward, such as 'the table have' instead of 'the table has.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the table and pie chart. However, it lacks specific data points and comparisons that would enhance the analysis. To improve, the writer could include more precise figures and make clearer comparisons between the different areas and nationalities.
6.0

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