The table below shows the number of visits to selected countries from four UK airports in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The table shows informations about visits of peoples from four UK airports to several selected many countries in 2013. The airports are Manchester, Heathrow, Gatwick, and Newcastle. The destination countries are the USA, France, Spain, Turkey, and others countries in the Caribic. Fbean. The first observation of the main feature, is that the UK airport with the most travel peoplers is Heathrow in 2013. Heathrow havs the large most number of travellers to all countries destination countries compared to the other airports, even more than many times for some places. For example, Heathrow passengersthe number of passengers from Heathrow visiting Spain areis 607,465, which is mostthe highest number. On the other sidehand, Newcastle airport havd the lessast visits to all of the countries in 2013. Second thing to notice is Another notable point is that France and the USA are the two locations with verythe most visits from UK airport in gens overally. France's total number is 648,181 and, while the USA haves 634,240 passengers. These numbers are biglarger thean those of other countries. For examplinstance, Turkey getreceived only 97,271 visits in total, and countries in the Caribics getbean received only 83,940 visits. That numberese figures are much smaller than those of France and USA overall. In comparthe USA. In comparison to the airports, Heathrow dominates all the destinations in terms of visits. It haveaccounts for almost 50% or more of travellers to all five countries compared to the other UK airports. ButHowever, for Spain, Heathrow sends a very high proportion of almost 80% of travellers. OIn the contrasts, Newcastle airport is almost insignificant for allin terms of visits to all countries. In conclusion of, the main feature,s indicate that Heathrow airport and the destinations of France and the USA are top ofhe most visited in 2013 fromaccording to the data. Other airports, like Newcastle, and countries such Caribic get much lessas those in the Caribbean, received significantly fewer travellers in comparison.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, summarising the main features and making comparisons effectively. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and the identification of key trends in the data. The writer successfully highlights the dominance of Heathrow airport and the popularity of France and the USA as destinations. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and plural forms. Additionally, the use of more varied vocabulary and clearer phrasing would enhance the overall quality of the writing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in comparisons, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on the data with more specific comparisons and possibly including numerical data in the overview for a more comprehensive summary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For example, 'In compare airport' should be 'In comparison to the airports'. Using more cohesive devices and clearer transitions would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Heathrow have large most number') and incorrect plural forms ('informations'). While there are some correct structures, the frequency of errors detracts from the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical correctness and sentence structure.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'very most visit' and 'countries in Caribics'. The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms to convey their ideas effectively.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the table and making comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'informations' instead of 'information' and 'many countries' instead of 'several countries'. To improve, the writer should ensure accurate language use and provide clearer comparisons.
6.0

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