The table describes the changes in the number of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The table shows amountthe number of people traveling to another countries from 1990 to 2000 five5. Overall, the number of people doengaging in international traveling increased a lotsignificantly during theis 15-years period. In 1990, only 435 million people were traveled internationally. This amountfigure increased to 540 million in 1995, an increasinge of over 100 millions, or about 253% growth comparinged to 1990. The number continued to rise in the next 10 years. In 2000, 681 million people didtook an international trip, which was more than 140 million than 5five years beforeearlier. By 2005, the figure haved reached 808 million, meaning it had almost doubled from 1990. To Cconclude, international travel became much more common from 1990 to 2005. The number of people traveling to other countryies grew steadily every 5five years, with the total increasinge being around 3703 million over the full period 15 years15-year period.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the changes in international travel from 1990 to 2005. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear overview of the trends. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing clarity and detail in data presentation, correcting grammatical errors, and reducing repetition in vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting verb tenses and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, as well as refining the introduction and conclusion for better clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and providing additional specific figures or percentages for each interval. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects the overall coherence. For instance, the phrase 'the number continue to rise' should be 'the number continued to rise.' Using more cohesive devices could enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, such as 'amount of people' (should be 'number of people') and 'the figure have reached' (should be 'the figure has reached'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structure, the errors detract from the overall accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage would enhance the score.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'number' and 'million.' The phrase 'increasing of over 100 millions' should be 'an increase of over 100 million.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the changes in international travel from 1990 to 2005. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in presenting the data, particularly in the final comparison. To improve, the writer could include more specific figures and trends, such as the percentage increase for each interval.
6.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."