The table shows the population ratio of females per 100 males in six different areas (Africa, Asia, Europe, North America, Central America and Oceania) in 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The given table presents information about how many females there wasere for every 100 males in different parts of the world during two years, 1995 and 2005. Overall, we can see that most regions had more females than males, with the number being higher than 100, except for Africa, where the ratio was lower. Alsodditionally, the changes between these years wasere not very bsignificant in most places. If we look more carefully at the data, Europe had the highest ratio of females in both years, with 106.5 females for every 100 males in 1995, and this number went up little bitincreased slightly to 107.1 in 2005. North America also had quite high numbers, stayremaining around 104 females per 100 males in both years. Central America showed a similar pattern but with slightly lower numbers. The situation in Asia and Oceania was a bit different, becauseas their ratios stayed close to 100, meanindicating that the number of females and males was almost the same. However, Africa had a completely opposite situation from other regions, with only 98.3 females for every 100 males in 1995, and this number decreased even morefurther to 97.8 in 2005, making it the only region where males outnumbered females significantly. In terms of changes over time, most regions experienced very small variations in their ratios. The biggesmost significant change was seen in Europe, where the ratio increased by 0.6 over a ten-years period, while Africa showed bigthe largest decrease of 0.5 during the same time.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the table and makes relevant comparisons, demonstrating a good understanding of the task. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement, and the use of more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing cohesion with transitional phrases, and improving clarity in the description of data. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific data points for Asia and Oceania and using synonyms to enhance lexical variety. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to improve cohesion. For instance, using more cohesive devices to connect the discussion of changes over time with the initial observations would enhance clarity. Phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could be used to improve transitions.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'present information' instead of 'presents information' and 'the changes between these years was not very big' instead of 'were not very significant.' To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to enhance overall accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some variety. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'number' and 'females.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions, such as 'proportion' or 'female population.' Additionally, phrases like 'the situation was different' could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the table and making relevant comparisons. However, it could be improved by providing more specific data points and clearer distinctions between regions. For example, mentioning the exact ratios for Asia and Oceania would enhance the completeness of the analysis.
7.5

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