The table shows where the police budgets came from and the chart shows how it was distributed.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The table is showingpresents information from where the police budget come from. The chart is also showingregarding the sources of the police budget, while the chart illustrates how theis budget that came was distributed tois allocated across different parteas. This information is quite useful tofor understanding the police budget and its spending. patterns. From the table, we can see that the police budget mainly comes from two places. One issources: the central government and another one is the local government. The central government give more budget to the policeprovides a significantly larger portion of the budget compared to the local government. This meanindicates that the central government is the mainprimary source of budgetfunding for the police. On the other hand, the chart shows us how the budget wais utilised by the police. Most of the budget goes towards the salaries of police officers. This, which is not surprise becauseing, as the police need to paycompensate their officers to dofor their jobwork. The second biglargest sexpendingture is on the equipment for the police. This, which include things like cars, guns, and other tools that police needs items such as cars, firearms, and other tools necessary for their operations. The least amount of the budget is spend onallocated to the training of police officers. In conclusion, the table and chart give usprovide a clear picture of where the police budget come fromoriginates and how it is usallocated. The central government provide mostsupplies the majority of the budget, and the biglargest sexpendingture is on the salaries of police officers. This information can help us understand how the police operate and how they use their budgetmanage their financial resources.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, summarising the sources and distribution of the police budget effectively. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the incorporation of specific data from the table and chart to enhance the analysis, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving subject-verb agreement, and enhancing the flow with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include the addition of specific figures or percentages to support statements and a more varied lexical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining formality and clarity throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences could be better linked for improved flow. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('come' should be 'comes') and incorrect verb forms ('give' should be 'gives'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'budget' and 'police'). The writer could benefit from using synonyms or more varied expressions to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Additionally, phrases like 'this is not surprise' should be corrected to 'this is not surprising' for accuracy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the sources and distribution of the police budget. However, it lacks specific data from the table and chart, which would enhance the analysis. To improve, the writer should include specific figures or percentages to support their statements.
6.5

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