The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The tabele gives informatoion about the sales of fFairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in five eEuropean countryies in 1999 and 2004. tThe countries are sSwitzerland, dDenmark, ukthe UK, bBelgium, an sd Sweden. The value of coffee sales areis given in millions of euros and, while the value for banana sales areis in tonnes. f First, looking at coffee, we can see that for every country, sales increased over the period. Switzerland has the biggest coffee sales in both years, rising from 3 milliion euros in 1999 to 5.8 million in 2004. dDenmark aslalso saw fast growth, from 0.9 million euros to 1.8 million. tThe UK hasd the lowest sales ofamong these countries for coffee, at 1.5 million and 2.0 million euros,; however, it has increased. In comparision, for banana sales there areshow a much more varied pattern. sSwitzerzland saw a bsignificant increase from 1 tonne to 813 tonnes, but the UK sales felt a lotl considerably, from 2,930 tonnes in 1999 to only 933 tonnes in 2004. Belguium, dDenmark, an sd Sweden all have relateively low banana sales compared to the UK, at less than 80 tonnes per year, but their figures increased over these five year.s. To summarize, these countries generally saw strong growth in coffee sales between 1999 and 2004, but for banana sales, the picture is mixed, with some countries rising and others falling in terms of fFairtrade-labelled banana sales.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the specified countries and years. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for deeper analysis and comparison, particularly regarding banana sales, as well as addressing spelling and grammatical errors that detract from clarity. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed comparisons and insights into the trends observed, as well as using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic report, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with clearer transitions and more cohesive devices. For example, using phrases like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' could enhance the clarity of comparisons made.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the value for banana sales are in tonnes'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure proper grammatical forms are used consistently.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'tabel', 'informatoin', 'europe', 'countrys', 'biggest', 'milliion', 'aslo', 'relateivly', 'sumarize', 'general', 'an') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the specified countries and years. However, it lacks depth in analysis and comparison, particularly regarding banana sales. To improve, the writer could provide more detailed comparisons and insights into the trends observed.
5.0

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