The two maps illustrate the changes that have occurred in a community center over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The maps showillustrate how a community center has changed and developed between two different time periods, and there washighlighting significant modifications in the layout and facilities of the building. In the first map, we can see that the community center was more simpler in its design. There was a main entrance from the north side that lead directly into the reception area. Behind the reception, there was a large main hall which takeook up most of the building space. On both sides of the main hall, there were small rooms -: a storage room on the left side and an office on the right side. At the back of the building, there was a kitchen area that connected to the main hall. Looking at the second map, the community center went throughunderwent major renovations. Even though the main entrance stayed in the same position, the inside completely changed. Rterior changed completely. The reception area became bigger and now includes a seating area for visitors. The previous main hall has been divided into two separate rooms -: one is a computer room and the other is a meeting room. What was iInteresting isly, thate old storage room transformed into a café, while the office on the right side became storage. KThe kitchen stayed atremained in the same location but got smaller to make space for new toilets. The most noticeable change between the two periods is how space was used more efficiently in the new design. While the original layout was dominated by a single large hall, the new design divided the space into more specific areas that serve different purposes. This modification made the community center more functional and modern, better serving the needs of local people who use it.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the two maps and makes relevant comparisons between the original and renovated community center, demonstrating a good understanding of the task. Key strengths include a clear description of the changes and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the overview by explicitly stating the total number of rooms or facilities before detailing their changes, as well as improving transitions between points for better cohesion. Minor grammatical errors were corrected, and repetitive phrases were replaced to enhance lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more cohesive devices and varying sentence structures to further elevate the writing quality. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could help link sentences more effectively. The overall flow is good, but minor improvements in cohesion would elevate the score.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing displays a good range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'there was main entrance' (should be 'there was a main entrance') and 'which take up' (should be 'which took up'). These errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for minor mistakes and ensure subject-verb agreement is maintained.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'renovation', 'layout', and 'functional' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'main hall' and 'community center', which could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased to enhance lexical variety. For example, using 'community facility' or 'central area' could diversify the language.
7.5
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the two maps and makes relevant comparisons between the original and renovated community center. However, it could improve by providing a clearer overview of the changes at the beginning and ensuring all key features are mentioned. For example, explicitly stating the total number of rooms or facilities before detailing their changes would enhance clarity.
7.5

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