The two maps show changes to the campus of Sunnyhills University between 1995 and today.

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The given maps illustrate how Sunnyhill University campus haves changed from 1995 to the present day. Overall, it is evident that the campus has undergone significant expansion and development over theis period of time. In 1995, the campus was relatively small, with only a few buildings. The main building was situated in the centre of the campus, surrounded by a car park to the north and a large area of trees to the south. There was also a small student accommodation block located to the east of the main building. However, by today, the campus has grown considerably in size. The main building has been expanded, and several new buildingstructures have been added, including a large lecture theatere to the west of the main building and a new student accommodationhousing block to the south. The car park has been movrelocated to the east of the campus, and the area previously occupied by trees has been developtransformed into a sports field. In addition, a number of new facilities have been addintroduced to the campus, such as a library to the north of the lecture theatre and a cafeteria to the east of the sports field. The campus also now includes a small park area near the student accommodation, which was not present in 1995. In conclusion, the maps clearly show that Sunnyhills University campus has undergone substantial development over the past 25 years, with the addition of new buildings, facilities, and green spaces to accommodate the growing number of students and staff.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by clearly describing the changes to Sunnyhill University campus from 1995 to the present, demonstrating a well-structured overview of the developments with specific details about new buildings and facilities. Key strengths include a logical organization and clear progression of ideas, which contribute to the overall coherence of the writing. However, critical areas for improvement include the use of more varied cohesive devices to enhance fluency and the introduction of synonyms to avoid repetition in vocabulary. Minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes also detract from the overall quality. The structural changes made include correcting 'have changed' to 'has changed' and replacing repetitive phrases with synonyms, such as 'student housing block' instead of 'student accommodation block.' For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more comparative language to highlight differences explicitly and ensure a wider range of vocabulary is used throughout. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is logically organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph flows well into the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link information. However, the use of more varied cohesive devices could enhance the overall fluency. For example, using phrases like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' could improve the connections between ideas.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The grammatical structures used are generally accurate, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few grammatical errors, such as 'have changed' instead of 'has changed' and 'the area previously occupied by trees has been developed' which could be clearer. Improving sentence variety and correcting minor errors would enhance the overall grammatical range and accuracy.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'expansion,' 'development,' and 'facilities' effectively conveying the changes. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'main building' and 'student accommodation,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, minor spelling errors like 'accomodation' and 'acommodate' detract from the overall quality.
7.5
Task Achievement
The response effectively addresses the task by clearly describing the changes to Sunnyhills University campus from 1995 to the present. It provides a well-structured overview of the developments, including specific details about new buildings and facilities. To improve further, the writer could include more comparative language to highlight the differences more explicitly.
8.0

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