The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The internet has become an important thing inpart of our everyday life in the past decades. It is used for many things such as communication, bussiness, entertainment, and learning. While the internet has brought many benefeits, it has also caused some problems. One of the main problemissues is that people spend too much time online. They use the internet for many hours each day, and this can lead to health problems like eye strain, headaches, and back pain. AlsoFurthermore, people who spend a lot of time online may not have enough time for other important thingactivities like exercizse, socializing, and sleeping. Another significant problem is that the internet can be used to spread false informations and rumors. Some peopleindividuals use the internet to share fake news or misleading informations, and thiswhich can cause confusions and misunderstandings. To solveaddress these problems, I thinkbelieve it is important for people to limit theire time online. They should set specific times for using the internet and stickadhere to those limits. Also, peopledditionally, individuals should be carefulutious about the informations they find online and verify it from reliable sources before sharing it with others. Schools and governements can also helpassist by educating people about the risks of spending too much time onlinexcessive internet use and how to usnavigate the internet safely and responsibly. In conclusion, while the internet has many benefits, it is also importantcrucial to be aware of the potenstial problems it can cause. By limiting our time online, being careful about the informations we find and share, and educating ourselves about safe and responsible internet use, we can enjoy the benefitadvantages of the internet while minimizing its negative effects.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt effectively by identifying key problems associated with internet use and suggesting relevant solutions. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, particularly with specific examples to support claims. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas, and there are several grammatical errors and misused words that detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary usage, and adding transitional phrases for better coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific examples and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('a important thing' should be 'an important thing') and incorrect verb forms ('its' should be 'it's' or 'it is'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misused words, such as 'bussiness' instead of 'business' and 'informations' instead of 'information.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy, for example, using synonyms for 'important' or 'benefits.'
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by identifying key problems associated with internet use and suggesting relevant solutions. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the claims made. For instance, elaborating on how excessive internet use affects mental health could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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