The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there are many towns and cityies that were buildt in past centuryies. These towns and cityies were good for living in the past, but not today. This willsituation leads to many problems for everyone liveing there. I will discuss those problems and also givprovide solutions. F The first problem is that old building iss are not safe. ItThey can fall inat any time and injure people walking under it. Alsoneath them. Additionally, old buildings do not have good water and electricity supply, which is neededessential today. For example, in my city, there is onean old building that was buildt 200 years ago, and now it haves no running water or electricity. People living in this building have to go outside to get water and use candles for light. Another problem is that the streets in old towns are very narrow and congested. This makes it very difficult for cars to pass through and leads to heavy traffics jams. People waste a lots of time stuck in traffic every day. Moreover, narrow streets are not safe for pedestrians, as they can easily get hit by passing vehichles. To solve thisese problems, the government needs to take actions. They should provide funds to repair and renovate old buildings andto make them safe for living. GThe government can also install modern ameneities like water and electricity in these buildings. To solveaddress traffic problems, some narrow streets can be made one-way only, and some can be closed for vehicales and used onexclusively by pedestrians. In conclusion, old towns and cityies have many problems today, but these problemissues can be resolved if the government takes the necessary steps. If we take care of our old buildings and streets, we can make them livable again and preserve our history and culture at the same time.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by identifying problems associated with old towns and cities and suggesting solutions. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of ideas. The revised version addresses grammatical errors, corrects word forms, and improves coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples of successful renovations or urban planning strategies and varying sentence structures to enhance readability. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For instance, the use of linking words could be improved to enhance the logical progression of ideas. The writer could use phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'old building do not' should be 'old buildings do not'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms (e.g., 'citys' should be 'cities', 'build' should be 'built', 'traffics jams' should be 'traffic jams'). Additionally, the repetition of basic vocabulary (e.g., 'old building', 'narrow streets') limits the lexical range. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying problems associated with old towns and cities and suggesting solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the implications of the problems and provide more concrete examples of successful renovations or urban planning strategies.
5.5

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