There is an annual work party next month, which is held every year. Write a letter to your colleagues to co-arrange the party. In your letter: Say what would you do differently than last year Say what you think were some of the things not so good last year Suggest where to meet to plan for the party.

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear colleagues, I I am writing to tellinform you about the annual party this year, w. We heold the party every year in the last month. I want, and I would like to co-arrange ithe party with you. Last year, the party was goodenjoyable but not perfect, so this year I want to do different.make some changes. In my opinion, last year the's food was not so delicious. The drinks also not many choices. Andlacked flavour, and there were not many choices for drinks. Additionally, the music was too loud. It makes, making it difficult to talkconverse with others. So this year, I think Therefore, I believe we should order food from other restaurant. And we need to buy more typesa different restaurant this year. We also need to provide a wider variety of drinks, likesuch as juice and beer. AboutRegarding the music, we can turn downlower the volume a bit. So it will be easier for chatting. to facilitate easier conversation. To plan the party, I suggest we can meet in the office next week. We can to discuss more details and makcreate a list of things to prepare. Please let me know if you are available to meet. Thank you for your help. I' am looking forward to a great party this year! Best regards, [Your name]
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear intention to improve the party based on last year's feedback and a logical structure that outlines the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors detract from clarity, and the need for a more formal tone. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between ideas, and improving the overall clarity of the message. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include explicitly stating the date of the party and providing more specific suggestions for food and drink options. The tone used is generally appropriate for a workplace setting, but a more formal approach could enhance professionalism.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure, but some sentences lack smooth transitions, which affects the overall flow. For example, the transition between discussing last year's issues and this year's plans could be improved. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' would enhance clarity and coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I writing' instead of 'I am writing' and 'the drinks also not many choices' which should be 'there were not many choices for drinks.' These errors affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, ensuring that sentences are complete and grammatically correct.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'not so good' and 'different.' The writer could enhance their lexical resource by using synonyms or more varied expressions. For example, instead of 'not so delicious,' they could say 'lacked flavor' or 'was unappetizing.'
6.5
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by discussing what will be done differently this year, mentioning some shortcomings from last year, and suggesting a meeting place. However, the introduction could be clearer, and the tone could be more formal. For improvement, the writer could explicitly state the date of the party and provide more specific suggestions for the food and drinks.
6.5

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