There is certainly a difference in thoughts, ideas and actions between children, their parents and grandparents. Why do these differences exist? Does it cause problems in your community, in your opinion?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I strongly believe that the gap between generations is a natural thing that happens in every family and society. In this essay, I will explain why these differences exist and share my thoughts about the problems they create in my community. First of all, every generation grows up in a different time period, which makes them think differently. When I was young, my grandparents always tellold me stories about their childhood without phones and computers, and I cannot imagine living like that. They learned differenstinct values because society was different at that time. My parents also have differentvaried experiences from me, because when they were studying, there was no internet and social media, which is very important part of my lifan integral aspect of my daily existence now. Another reason for these differences is that the world changes very fast nowadays. Young people adapt quickly to new technologies and modern ideas, while older generations sometimes struggle to understand these changes. For example, my grandmother still does not know how to use a smartphone properly, and she thinks social media is a dangerous thing that wastes time. ButHowever, for me and my friends, it is a normal part of daily life that helps us stay connected. In my opinion, these differences between generations sometimes cause problems in our community. Sometimes older people don't understand why the younger generation has differenstinct values and priorities. This can lead to arguments in families when parents want their children to follow a traditional path, but children want to try new things. HowNevertheless, I think these conflicts are not very serious usually, because most families learn to respect each other's views even if they don't agree completely. To conclude, I believe the generation gap exists because of the different time periods people grow up in and the fast changes in the modern world. While it can create some problems in the community, these differences are a natural part of life that we need to accept and manage with understanding and respect.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for generational differences and their impact on the community. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions and reducing repetition in vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the variety of vocabulary, and refining transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of family conflicts to strengthen arguments and further diversifying vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and respectful approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. Phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' could be used to better link contrasting ideas.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'dont' should be 'don't,' and 'that waste time' should be 'that wastes time.' Minor errors like these detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical accuracy and ensure subject-verb agreement.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'different' appearing multiple times. To improve, the writer could use synonyms like 'distinct' or 'varied' to enhance lexical variety. Additionally, some phrases could be more sophisticated, such as replacing 'very important part of my life' with 'integral aspect of my daily existence.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the reasons for generational differences and their impact on the community. The ideas are relevant and mostly well-developed, but some points could benefit from further elaboration or specific examples to enhance clarity and depth. For instance, providing a specific example of a conflict in a family could strengthen the argument.
7.5

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