These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the present days, in muchany country less and less personsies, fewer and fewer people want to be teachers, especially in high schools. There is someare several reasons for this thingrend, and there isare also some solutions to fixaddress this problem. One reason is salary. Teachers' wage iss are often not high, and many people think it is not enough moneybelieve it is insufficient for living. Another reason is the students behaviour. In secondary schools, many students is inare in their teenage years and can be difficult to control and teach. This makes the job stressful and notless enjoyable for teachers. Additionally, the workload for teachers is high, with many hours of teaching and alsos well as marking homework and exams. However, there are ways to solvinge this issue. Firstly, the government could increase the salary of teachereachers' salaries to attract more peopleindividuals to the profession. Secondly, schools could provide more support and training for teachers to help them manage student behaviour and reduce stress. This could include smaller class sizes, more teaching assistants, and regular training and workshops. Finally, the workload for teachers could be reduced by hiring more staff to share the marking and administrative tasks. In conclusion, there are several reasons why lessfewer people want to be teachers in high schools, including low pay, student behaviour, and high workload. However, by increasing salaries, providing more support and training, and reducing workload, it may be possible to attract more peopleindividuals to this important profession.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by identifying reasons for the decline in interest in teaching and suggesting viable solutions. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and plural forms, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the flow of ideas with better transitions, and ensuring proper pluralization. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to support the arguments and using a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate lexical flexibility. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('students is' should be 'students are') and incorrect plural forms ('teacher' should be 'teachers'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'teacher' instead of 'teachers' and 'goverment' instead of 'government'. More varied vocabulary and idiomatic expressions could improve the score. For example, using 'educators' instead of 'teachers' could demonstrate a wider lexical range.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying reasons for the decline in interest in teaching and suggesting solutions. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples or elaboration on the points made. For instance, discussing the impact of low salaries on teacher retention could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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