These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantages?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In these days, online education through the internet has becominge more popular in colleges and universityies. Many peoples think internet teaching is superior compared to traditional classroom teaching, but others say it haves many flaws. In my opinion, i thinkI believe the advantages of web-based teaching isare greater than the drawbacks. First of all, online classes isare very convenient and flexible. Students can study inat their own time and schedule, and do not need to physically attend the classroom every time. This means they can balance their studyies with other responsibilityies like working or taking care of family. Also you can accessdditionally, course material can be accessed anytime on the internet, and donstudents do not have to carrying heavy textbooks everywhere. In addition, e-learning is also more affordable than classroom teaching in many ways. NThere is no need to pay money for room and board near the school. Save gas money, and students save money on gas from not needing to drive or take the bus to campus daily. And theFurthermore, digital textbooks are much cheaper than paper ones. However, some argue that online educate haion has its issues. They say it is hard for students to focus and motivate themselfves when learning alone. NThere is no instant feedback or interaction with teachers and classmate. Student might feels, which can lead to feelings of isolatedion and unlack of motivatedion. It is true that these problems might occur for some peoples. But i Nevertheless, I believe these disadvantages can be overcome. If students feel lonely, they should join online study groups or forums with other classmates. They can also email professors and TAs for questions and discussions. And iIf self-motivateion is difficult, they can makecreate a reward system for completeing assignments, like watchsuch as watching their favourite show or buy nice thing.ing something nice. In conclusion, while internet-based teaching mightay hasve some flaws, iI think the benefits like, such as flexibility, convenience, and affordability, outweight the drawbacks. With some effort to stay engaged and motivated, most students can succeed in online courses just as well as in a classroom setting.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of online education. Key strengths include a clear opinion and logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary variety, and the development of ideas with specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing vocabulary usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific statistics or studies to support arguments and varying sentence structures for better engagement. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be enhanced. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could improve the connection between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the main points.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('online classes is'), incorrect verb forms ('has becoming'), and punctuation mistakes. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'internet education' instead of 'online education' and 'many peoples' instead of 'many people.' More varied and sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the essay, such as using terms like 'virtual learning' or 'digital education.'
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online teaching, presenting a clear opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, providing statistics or studies on online learning effectiveness could strengthen the argument.
6.0

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