Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the modern daytimes, many peoples who vacation chooses to go to far and remote places, even the placeo locations where living iconditions hard there. Like they go toe challenging. For instance, they may visit the Sahara, where it's realextremely hot, or the sSouth pPole in Antarctica. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvanatages of this kindatype of tourism to such places for the tourist peoples. s involved. There isare definitely some benefits for the tourisming people to go so farts who travel to unusuall places. Firstly, they can havinge rare experiences whichthat most others will never hadve. This wouldcan gaive the tourists a great feel and they be proud after when come back home. As wesense of accomplishment, and they may feel proud when they return home. Additionally, it is chanceprovides an opportunity to learning about living in very differaent conditions from their own lifeves. From thatis, the travellers can getain knowledge about how people survivinge in hardship place environments and become grateful for own good lifestheir own comfortable situations. So, few clear positivity points there. OnThus, there are several clear positive aspects to this type of tourism. On the other hands, there's are also negatives ofassociated with travelling sto far to hard living spotdifficult living conditions that must be noticacknowledged. The biggest cone iscern is the risk of dangerous, because this, as these places often have extreme weather or other unsafe factors like, such as wild animel inals in the desert. If somethings happens to a tourist, like an injury or illness, help may be far and hard to get there quickly. Alsoway and difficult to access quickly. Furthermore, it can being very expensive to travel souch long distances and needmay require special equipment just, such as warm clothes. So only peoples with more money can take these types of special trips. Furthemore, facilities for tourist will not available well, like comfortable hotels, so tourist willing. Consequently, only those with more financial resources can undertake these types of trips. Moreover, facilities for tourists may not be well-developed, meaning that visitors may hadve to face difficulity. ties, such as a lack of comfortable accommodation. In conclusion, i thinkI believe that going foron holiday into such farremote locations with challenging living conditions can be give thprovide tourists with memorable experiaences, but it also poses problems like safety risks and financial burdens. Only adventourours travellers who hasve the physical capable and money mightility and financial means should consider itsuch journeys.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in challenging environments. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the development of ideas, clarity, and grammatical accuracy. The revised version addresses these issues by correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing vocabulary usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of rare experiences and elaborating on how tourists can learn from local cultures. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, phrases like 'On other hands' and 'there's also negatives' could be improved for better coherence. Using clearer linking words and phrases would enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('many peoples who vacation chooses'), incorrect verb forms ('can having,' 'would gave'), and awkward sentence structures. While some sentences are clear, the frequent errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and ensuring subject-verb agreement, as well as varying sentence structures for better grammatical range.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and includes several errors, such as 'tourisming people' and 'unusuall place.' There are also instances of repetition, such as using 'tourist' and 'peoples' multiple times. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy, perhaps by using synonyms or more precise terms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of tourism in difficult conditions. However, the ideas are not fully developed, and some points lack clarity and depth. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made, such as detailing what rare experiences tourists might have or how they can learn from the local culture.
5.5

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