Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

These days, tourism haves become super popular. Everyone wants to travel the world to seeing new places and experience the different cultures and foods. It is true that travel brings a lot of money to the local economy, but in my view, the negative effects on peoples and the environment are too large to ignore. There are some goodness tobenefits to the tourism industry. First and foremost, it provides jobs for many inhabitants in the tourist locations. For example, hotels, restaurants, and tour operators all need workers to run them. More travellers means more hiring of staffs. Secondly, tourism brings in a lot of cash to the local businesses. When visitors spend their moniesey on food, housing, and souvenirs, those earnings go directly into the pockets of local peoples. This extra income allows them to improve their quality of life. However, tourism has serious problems too. One main issue is overtourism, where too many tourists crowd into popular spots. This creates a lot of mess and pollution, as well as makeing daily life difficult for residents who live there. Another trouble is environmental damage. Many famoous natural wonders like coral reefs and mountains are destroyed by careless visitors who litter, or step on the fragile ecosystems. Cultural heritage sites also suffer wear and tear from excess foot traffic. In conclusion, while tourism haves some positives for the economy, I beliefve that the disadvantages heavyily outweigh the benefits. The negative impact on local communities and Mother Nature areis just too significant to overlooking. Before it gettings worse, governments need to take action to limit the numbers of tourists and protect sensitive areas. Only then can tourism be sustained in the long run.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, presenting a clear opinion that the negatives outweigh the positives. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, as well as a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and replacing awkward phrases with more appropriate vocabulary. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or statistics to support claims about economic benefits and enhancing the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore,' would enhance the flow of the essay. Additionally, some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects overall clarity.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('tourism have become'), incorrect verb forms ('to seeing'), and spelling mistakes ('negatve,' 'famoos'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for common grammatical mistakes and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misused words, such as 'goodness' instead of 'benefits' and 'worker' instead of 'workers.' More varied and sophisticated vocabulary could elevate the writing. For example, using terms like 'economic influx' or 'cultural degradation' would demonstrate a higher lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, presenting a clear opinion that the negatives outweigh the positives. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, elaborating on the economic benefits with statistics or case studies could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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