"Wasted Day Off" Some people prefer to spend their days off relaxing at home. Other people prefer to spend their free time participating in leisure activities outside the home. Which do you prefer and why?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear preference for relaxing at home, which is effectively communicated throughout. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples to support the reasons given, as well as addressing spelling and grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating personal anecdotes or specific activities enjoyed at home to add depth to the argument. The tone used is appropriate for the task, maintaining a conversational yet informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' could enhance the connection between points.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('relaxating' should be 'relaxing'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should review basic grammar rules and practice sentence structure.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'relaxating', 'leizure', 'conveneint', 'affordible') and some repetitive phrases. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling, which would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a preference for relaxing at home over going out. However, it lacks depth in the explanation of reasons and could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on personal experiences or specific activities enjoyed at home.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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