Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree that wealthy nations should to help poorer countries when natural disasters happenoccur. There are several reasons why I think this way. Firstly, wealthy nations have more resources and money to provide assistance to poorer countries. They can send food, water, medicine, and other supplies that are needed in the aftermath of a disaster. They also have trained personnel, such as doctors and engineers, who can help with relief efforts. Poorer countries often lack these resources and need helpsupport from other nations to cope with disasters. Secondly, helping poorer countries during disasters is a humanitarian duty. As human beings, we have a moral obligation to helpassist others who are suffering, regardless of their nationality or economic status. Natural disasters can cause a great deal of suffering and loss of life, and it is important that we do what we can to alleviate this suffering. Wealthy nations have the means to do this and should therefore step up to help. Finally, assisting poorer countries during disasters can also be in the interest of wealthy nations. Disasters can lead to instability, conflict, and mass migration, which can have a negative impact on neighbouring countries and the world as a whole. By providing aid and support, wealthy nations can help to prevent these problems and promote stability and development in poorer countries. In conclusion, I strongly agree that wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. It is a moral duty, it is in everyone's interest, and wealthy nations have the resources and capability to make a real difference in these situations.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position in favour of wealthy nations assisting poorer countries during natural disasters. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant examples that support the main argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in the use of plural forms and sentence structure. The corrected version made necessary adjustments to grammatical errors, improved the variety of vocabulary, and enhanced the flow with better transitions. Further improvements could include incorporating specific examples or data to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific reason supporting the main argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'wealthy nations should to help' and 'more resource.' These mistakes detract from the overall clarity. Improving grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures would elevate the score in this area.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'resource' and 'help,' which could be varied for a more sophisticated lexical range. Incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions would enhance the overall quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position in favor of wealthy nations assisting poorer countries during natural disasters. The main ideas are developed with relevant examples, such as the provision of resources and the moral obligation to help. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or data to strengthen the arguments further.
7.5

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