Weather is a topic that affects everyone. What kind of weather is typical in your country? How do people deal with different types of weather? Include specific examples in your response.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by discussing the weather and its impact on people's lives in the writer's country. Key strengths include the identification of different seasons and the general activities associated with them. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a clearer logical progression of ideas. The structural changes made include correcting awkward phrasing, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence by using appropriate transition words. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures. The tone used is appropriate for the task, maintaining a conversational yet informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'To deal of different weather,' which disrupts coherence. Improving the logical progression of ideas and using more cohesive devices would enhance clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as 'it is important thing' and 'sometime snowing happen.' Sentence structures are often simple and lack variety. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are repetitive phrases like 'too much' and 'weather.' The use of terms like 'bundle up' and 'air conditions' shows some range, but there are also inaccuracies, such as 'air conditions' instead of 'air conditioning.' Expanding vocabulary and reducing repetition would improve this score.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The response addresses the task by discussing typical weather in the writer's country and how people deal with it. However, the explanation lacks depth and specific examples could be more detailed. For improvement, the writer could include more specific activities or cultural practices related to each season.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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