What are the pros and cons of using public transport?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of public transport, which is relevant to the prompt. Key strengths include a clear structure and appropriate vocabulary for the topic. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, as well as the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and enhancing the conclusion to better summarize the main points. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support the arguments and varying the vocabulary used for 'public transport.' The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally coherent, with a clear structure that separates the pros and cons. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, transitions between points could be smoother, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points. Using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the flow of ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('public transport become' should be 'public transport becomes' and 'it have' should be 'it has'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositions. While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some good word choices like 'environmentally friendly' and 'drawbacks.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'public transport,' which could be varied with synonyms like 'mass transit' or 'public transportation.' Additionally, there are some minor spelling errors, such as 'then' instead of 'than.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of public transport, which is relevant to the prompt. However, it lacks depth in some areas, such as providing specific examples or statistics to support the points made. To improve, the writer could include more detailed explanations or real-life examples to enhance the argument.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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