What are you most looking forward to at this college?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am most looking forward to meeting new people and makeing friends at this college. Meeting new people is important for me because I want to expand my social circle and learn from others. In my previous school, I did not have many opportunities to meet people from diverse backgrounds. ButHowever, at this college, there will be students from all over the world, with different cultures and perspectives. Another thingaspect I am excited about is the opportunity to study subjects that I am passionate about. In high school, I had to take many classes that I was not interested in. But iIn college, I can choose my own majors and take classes that align with my interests and career goals. For example, I want to study computer science because I am fascinated by technology and how it can be used to solve real-world problems. Finally, I am looking forward to participating in extracurricular activities and clubs. College offers many opportunities to get involved in student organizations, sports teams, and volunteer work. These activities can help me develop new skills, explore my interests, and make a positive impact in my community. I am particularly interested in joining the debate team because I enjoy discussing important issues and learning from others' perspectives. In conclusion, I am most looking forward at this college to meeting new people, studying subjects that I am passionate about, and getting involved in extracurricular activities at this college. I believe that these experiences will help me grow as a personsignificantly contribute to my personal growth and prepare me for my future career.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing various aspects the writer looks forward to at college, such as meeting new people, studying subjects of interest, and participating in extracurricular activities. Key strengths include a clear structure and a logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing transitions between points for better coherence and correcting minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Structural changes made include improving the conclusion to better tie back to the main points and ensuring parallel structure in the introduction. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific examples of how these experiences will contribute to personal and professional growth and using more sophisticated vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a positive and enthusiastic outlook towards college experiences.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing meeting new people to studying subjects could benefit from a clearer linking phrase. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation issues. For example, 'make friends' should be 'making friends' to maintain parallel structure. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning, with some variety in word choice. However, there are a few spelling errors, such as 'diffrent' (different) and 'lookng' (looking), which detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the richness of the text.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the prompt by discussing various aspects the writer looks forward to at college, such as meeting new people, studying subjects of interest, and participating in extracurricular activities. However, the conclusion could be more effectively tied back to the main points made in the essay. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples or elaborate on how these experiences will contribute to their personal and professional growth.
6.5

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