What are your strengths and weaknesses in academics?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both strengths and weaknesses in academics, which is a key strength. The structure is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and the depth of analysis regarding weaknesses. The transition from strengths to weaknesses has been improved with the addition of 'On the other hand,' enhancing coherence. Specific strategies for improvement in math and handwriting have also been included to provide more depth. Further improvements could include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and ensuring all spelling and grammatical errors are corrected. The tone is appropriate for the task, maintaining a reflective and personal perspective throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing strengths to weaknesses could be more clearly signposted. Using cohesive devices like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' would enhance the flow.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('Every person have' should be 'Every person has') and incorrect verb forms ('studing' should be 'studying'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. The author should focus on proofreading to catch such mistakes.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'weaknesses' and 'strengths'). The author could improve by incorporating synonyms or more varied expressions. Additionally, there are some spelling errors ('weekneses', 'studing', 'handwritting') that detract from the overall quality.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both strengths and weaknesses in academics. However, it lacks depth in the analysis of weaknesses and could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration. For instance, the author could provide specific strategies for improving their weaknesses in math and handwriting.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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