What factors are related to academic success in high school students?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

There are many factors that contribute forto the academic success of high school students. In this essay i, I will discuss some of the most important ones, which are motivation, goodeffective study habits, and support from teachers and parents. Firstly, motivation plays a key role in academic success. Students who are motivated to learn and achieve their goals tend to work harder and perform better in school. This motivation can come from within the student, such as a desire to get good grades or pursue a particular career path. It can also come from external sources, such as encouragement from parents or teachers. mMotivated students are more likely to put in the time and effort neccessary to succeed academically. Secondly, goodeffective study habits are essential for academic success. This includes things like attending class regularly, taking good notes, and staying organized. Students who have developed effective study habitstrategies are better able to retain information and perform well on exams and assignments. They also tend to have better time management skills, which allows them to balance their academic responsibilities with other activities. Finally, support from teachers and parents can make a big difference in a student's academic success. Teachers who are engaged and invested in their students' learning can provide valuable guidance and feedback. They can also help students develop good study habits and stay motivated. Parents play can also play an important role by providing encouragement and creating a supportive home environment that is conducive to learning. In conclusion, there are several key factors that contribute to academic success in high school students. These include motivation, goodeffective study habits, and support from teachers and parents. By focusing on these factors, students can increase their chances of achieving their academic goals and setting themselves up for success in the future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by identifying and discussing key factors related to academic success in high school students. Key strengths include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling errors, which detract from the overall quality. The introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the points more effectively. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary variety, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. For further improvements, the writer could include specific examples or studies to support their claims and work on varying sentence structures to enhance the overall sophistication of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific factor, which aids clarity. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more effectively.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'motivation play' should be 'motivation plays') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'support from teachers and parents can make a big differnce' should be 'difference'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread their work to catch and correct such mistakes.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are several instances of repetition and spelling errors (e.g., 'factor' should be 'factors', 'achive' should be 'achieve', 'neccesary' should be 'necessary'). The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim to use more varied and sophisticated language. For example, instead of 'good study habits', they could use 'effective study strategies'.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying and discussing key factors related to academic success in high school students. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the points more effectively. To improve, the writer could include specific examples or studies to support their claims.
7.0

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