With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, more peoples are living in cities without outdoor spaces at theyir homes. iI think this is a negative development for someeveral reasons, which iI will explain. Firstly, people need fresh air and sunlight to staying healthy. If peoples livinge in homes without outdoor spaces, they cannot get vitamin dD or exercicse outside. This can lead forto health problems like obeseity, depression, and other issues. For example, my friend lives in an apartment building in a big city, and he always complanings about feeling tired and sad because he donesn't have any place to go outside and relax. Secondly, people need to connect with nature for theyir mental and emotioneal well-being. Studies show that spending time in green spaces can reduce stress, improve mood, and increase creativity. If people don't have access to outdoor areas at theyir homes, they may feel disconnected from the natureal world and experience negative emotions. like, such as loneliness or anxiety. In conclusion, I believe that the trend of peoples living in homes without outdoor spaces is a negative development. It can have negativadverse effects on both theyir physical and mental health, as well as theyir overoall quality of life. City planners and developers should prioritizse creating homes with access forto outdoor areas, such as balconyies, terraces, or communal gardens, to ensure that residents have oppeortunities to connect with nature and enjoy fresh air and sunlight.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the negative aspects of living in homes without outdoor spaces. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more depth in developing ideas and providing a balanced view. The original essay contained numerous spelling and grammatical errors, which have been corrected in the revised version. The use of cohesive devices has also been improved to enhance the logical progression of ideas. The structural changes made include correcting spelling and grammatical errors, improving transitions between ideas, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. For further improvements, the writer could consider including potential solutions to the issue discussed or contrasting views to provide a more balanced perspective. Additionally, expanding on the examples provided could enhance the depth of the argument. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions and clearer connections between sentences. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'peoples living', 'peoples need'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'staying', 'dont'), and sentence fragments. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'Nowdays', 'peoples', 'witout', 'exercice', 'obesety', 'depresion', 'complaning', 'dont', 'they', 'emotionel', 'creativty', 'acces', 'disconneted', 'anxety', 'overol', 'priortize', 'balconys', 'oppertunities'). To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative aspects of living in homes without outdoor spaces. However, it lacks depth in developing ideas and providing a balanced view. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples and elaborate on the points made, such as discussing potential solutions or contrasting views.
5.0

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