Write a letter to a restaurant to thank them about your birthday celebration with your friends. Talk about food, ambience and service. Make any recommendations where necessary.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter effectively conveys gratitude and appreciation for the birthday celebration, showcasing strengths in task achievement and coherence. Key strengths include a clear structure and a logical flow from food to ambience to service. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling errors, which detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions, and ensuring proper spelling. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more personal anecdotes or specific highlights from the celebration to enrich the content. The tone used is appropriate for a letter of thanks, maintaining a polite and appreciative manner throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical structure that flows from food to ambience to service. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother transitions. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow. Improving the use of linking words would strengthen the overall coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'my firends and me was', 'the waitors and waitresses was') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'take our orders quickly'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and practice using correct verb forms in context.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'delishous', 'restorant', 'testy', 'exellent', 'definately') that detract from the overall quality. The writer does use some varied vocabulary, but more sophisticated expressions could be employed. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and consider using a wider range of descriptive adjectives.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses the task by expressing gratitude for the birthday celebration and discussing the food, ambience, and service. However, there are minor inconsistencies in tone and some areas could be more developed, such as specific details about the food or service. To improve, the writer could include more personal anecdotes or specific highlights from the celebration.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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