Write a letter to your local library suggesting something they could do to improve their facility. In your letter include: -a recount of a poor experience you had -what you feel the library should change -why you feel the library needs alteration

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Local Library, I am writing to make a suggestion about how to improve your facility. I am a regular visitor to the library for many years, but recently I haved a bad experience that I want to share with you. Last week, I coame to the library to borrow some books for my research project. When I arrived, I fiound that the book I need ied was not on the shelf. I asked the librarian for help, but she tellold me that the book iwas lost and they doid not have any other copies. This iwas very frustrating for me because I needed the book urgently for my project. I think the library should make some changes to prevent this kind of situation from happening again. First, the library should haveimplement a better system for tracking books and making sureensuring they are not lost. For instance, using a digital inventory system could help staff quickly locate books and monitor their availability. Second, the library should have more copies of popular books so that if one copy is lost, there are still other copies available for people to borrow. I believe that these changes are necessary because the library is an important resource for the community. Many people rely on the library for their education and research, and it is importantcrucial that the library can provide the books and materials that people need. If the library cannot provide these thingresources, it will be difficult for people to complete their work and achieve their goals. In conclusion, I hope that you will consider my suggestions and make some changes to improve the library. I believe that these changes will benefit everyone who uses the library and will help to make it a better resource for the community. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and effectively communicates the writer's experience and suggestions for improvement. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and a clear expression of the main issues faced by the writer. The letter also maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is appropriate for the context. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of suggestions, and adding specific details about the proposed tracking system. Transition phrases were also added to enhance coherence between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on the benefits of the proposed changes and providing more specific examples of how the library could implement these suggestions. Overall, the tone used is appropriate, maintaining a formal and respectful approach while addressing the library's management.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences feel abrupt, and transitions between ideas are not always smooth. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' could enhance the overall coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('I am a regular visit' should be 'I am a regular visitor') and incorrect verb tenses ('I come to library' should be 'I came to the library'). These errors affect clarity and should be addressed to improve the overall quality of the writing.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'book' and 'change.' More varied vocabulary could improve the letter. Additionally, phrases like 'make suggest' should be corrected to 'make a suggestion' for better accuracy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task by recounting a poor experience and suggesting changes to the library. However, it lacks some clarity in the suggestions and could benefit from more specific details about the proposed changes. For example, elaborating on the tracking system could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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