Write a paragraph about 150 words to give your opinion about: "Students should not be required to take physical education courses."

Part 1 (General)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I amdo not agree with the statement that students should not be required to take physical educations courses. In my opinnion, physical education is very important for students and it should be a requiredmandatory course in school. s. First of all, physical educations helps students to stay healthy and fit. When students exercise regularly, they are less likely to become overweight or obese, which can lead to many healths problems later in life. Additionally, physical activity can help reduce stress and improve mental health, which is especially important for students who may be under a lot of pressure from their studies. FurthermoreMoreover, physical education classes can also teach students valuable life skills such as teamwork, leadership, and sportsmanship. These skills can be useful not only in sports but also in other areas of life, such as in the workplace or in personal relationships. Finally, physical education can be a fun and enjoyable way for students to take a break from their academic studies and engage in something different. It can provides a sense of balance and well-being that is essential for overall health and happiness. In conclusion, I strongly believe that physical education should remain a required course for students. The benefits of regular physical activity and the life skills learned in these classes are simply too important to ignore.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion on the importance of physical education, effectively addressing the prompt. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant arguments that support the main thesis. However, there are critical areas for improvement, such as reducing repetitive phrases and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity and enhancing transitions between points with varied cohesive devices. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary more extensively and ensuring all spelling and grammatical errors are corrected. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The ideas are logically sequenced, and there is a clear progression from one point to another. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For instance, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow between points.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'I am not agree' and 'healths problems.' These mistakes affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and correct word forms.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'physical education' and 'students.' The writer could improve by using synonyms or varying expressions. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'opinnion' and 'educations' that detract from the overall quality.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the prompt by providing a clear opinion against the statement. However, it exceeds the word limit, which is a minor issue. To improve, the writer could focus on condensing their arguments while maintaining clarity and relevance.
6.5

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