Write a paragraph of about 150 words to express your opinion on the following statement: "Foreign languages should be banned in preschool education."

Part 1 (General)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am disagree with the statement that foreign languages should be banned in preschool education. In my opinion, learning a foreign language at a young age has many advantage.s. First of all, young children have a natural ability to learn new languages quickly and easily. Their brains are like sponges, absorbing new information and skills with ease. By exposing them to a foreign language early on, we can take advantage of this natural ability and help them develop lainguageistic skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. Moreover, learning a foreign language can also help children develop cognitive skills such as problem-solving, creativity, and critical thinking. It can alsoAdditionally, it can broaden their cultural horizons and help them appreciate diversity. In conclusion, iI believe that foreign languages should not be banned in preschool education. Instead, we should encourage and support language learning at a young age to help children develop valuable skills and knowledge that will serve them well in the future.
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear position against banning foreign languages in preschool education and relevant reasons supporting this stance. The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and capitalization. The vocabulary could be varied to avoid repetition, and the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced for better clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving word choice, and ensuring proper capitalization. The introduction was slightly rephrased for clarity, and the conclusion was adjusted to maintain consistency in tone and structure. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or evidence to strengthen the arguments and using a wider range of linking phrases to enhance coherence. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct point, and there is a logical flow from one idea to the next. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved for better clarity, such as using more varied linking phrases to enhance the connections between sentences.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'I am disagree' instead of 'I disagree' and 'advantage' instead of 'advantages.' There are also issues with capitalization, such as 'i' instead of 'I.' While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some effective phrases like 'natural ability' and 'cultural horizons.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'foreign language' and 'language skills,' which could be varied. Additionally, some word choices are slightly awkward, such as 'disagree' instead of 'disagreeing' and 'ban' instead of 'banned.'
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against banning foreign languages in preschool education. It provides relevant reasons and examples to support this stance. However, the argument could be more developed with additional specific examples or evidence to strengthen the points made.
7.0

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