Write a short story for a college magazine about an event which made someone feel nervous, but which turned out to be all right in the end. Describe why the person felt nervous and why he/she did not really need to worry.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

One day, a student named Ankit was preparing for an exam he had coming soon. He felt very nervous about the exam because he had not studyied much in the past few weeks since he was busy with his part-time job at the store. Ankit thought he would failed the exam for surely, and that made his stomatch churn with worry. As the day of the exam arrived, Ankit went to school feeling very anxious. His hands were shaking, and he was sweating a bit as he sat down at his desk in the classroom. When the teacher handed out the exam papers, Ankit took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. To his great surprise, as he started to read the questions on the exam, he realized that he actually knew many of the answers! Even though he didn't study as much as he wanted to, the things from class and his own knowledge were enough for him to answer most of the problems. Ankit started to feel more relaxed and confident as he continued working thruough the exam. In the end, Ankit finished his exam feeling much better thean when he started. He realized that he had been worrying for no reason and that he actually knew more thean he thought he did. Ankit learned an important lesson that day about trusting in himself and his abilities, even when he feelst unprepared or nervous. He didn't need to worry so much after all and could have more confidentce in himself going forward.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively conveys Ankit's journey from anxiety to confidence regarding his exam, which is a key strength. The narrative has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for IELTS Task 2 writing. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy, where several errors were corrected, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices was enhanced to improve the flow between ideas. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, the addition of 'the' before 'exam' and 'questions' improves clarity, while the use of 'however' and 'in the end' helps to connect ideas more smoothly. Further improvements could include adding more emotional depth to Ankit's thoughts and feelings during the exam to enhance engagement. Additionally, varying the vocabulary further could help avoid repetition and improve lexical resource. The tone of the essay is appropriate for a narrative, maintaining a reflective and personal style that suits the context of the story.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The narrative follows a logical sequence, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences feel abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. To improve, use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas, such as 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'as a result.'
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('his hand were' should be 'his hands were'), incorrect verb forms ('didnt' should be 'didn't'), and spelling mistakes ('enugh' should be 'enough'). While the overall meaning is clear, improving grammatical accuracy and range would strengthen the writing significantly.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'nervous,' 'exam') and some misused words (e.g., 'failed' should be 'fail,' 'stomatch' should be 'stomach'). To enhance this score, incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy by using synonyms.
6.0
Task Achievement
The story addresses the prompt by depicting Ankit's nervousness about an exam and how it turned out well in the end. However, it could benefit from more depth in character development and a clearer resolution. For improvement, consider adding more details about Ankit's feelings and thoughts during the exam to enhance emotional engagement.
6.5

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