Write about 250 words about the basic stages of child development and why it is important for parents to understand them. Include relevant examples from your own observation or experience.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I want to share my thoughts about how children grow up and why parents need to know about this important topic. From what I have learned during my studies, children go through many stages when they develop, and each stage is very importantcrucial for their future. When babies are very small, maybe in the first year or so, they learn basic things like how to smile and how to grab things with their hands. I have seen this with my little cousin, who always tryies to catch everything around him. This stage is really importsignificant because babies start to understand the world around them, and parents must give them lots of attention during this time. After that timeperiod, children start learning to walk and talk, which typically happens aroundt the age of 2 years. This is veryan exciting time for familyies because children become more active and start to express what they want. I remember when my neighbour's daughter startedbegan to speak,; she was saying the same words again and again, but her parents were very patient with her. If parents understand this stage, they can help their children better. Later, when children go to school, they develop different skills like reading and making friends. This stage is also very important because children learn how to be part of society. Parents who know aboutare aware of this stage can support their children bettermore effectively and help them with their problems. In my opinion, understanding these stages helps parents to givprovide better care tofor their children. When parents know what to expect, they can make betterinformed decisions about how to help their children grow up healthy and happy.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively discusses the stages of child development. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant examples that illustrate the points made. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of discussion regarding each developmental stage and improving the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, refining vocabulary for sophistication, and ensuring clearer topic sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific developmental milestones or theories to deepen the analysis and varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, with each paragraph focusing on a different stage of development. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' would improve the overall coherence of the essay.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'try' instead of 'tries' and 'age of 2 years' which should be 'at the age of 2 years.' While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do detract from the overall accuracy and sophistication of the writing.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'important' and 'stage.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more varied expressions. Additionally, phrases like 'very small' and 'exciting time' could be replaced with more sophisticated vocabulary.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the basic stages of child development and the importance of parental understanding. However, it could benefit from a more structured approach and deeper exploration of each stage. For example, including specific developmental milestones or theories could enhance the depth of the response.
7.0

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