Write about the following topic: Adventure in my life You should write at least 250 words.

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Adventure is something that I value very much in my life. Since I was a child, I have always seekought out new experiences and challenges to push myself out of my comfort zone. This has led me to embark on many exciting adventures over the years, which have shaped me into athe person I am today. One of my most memorable adventures was when I decided to go backpacking through Southeast Asia a few years ago. I had never traveled alone before, and the idea of exploring new countries and cultures on my own was intimidating. However, I knew that it would be an invaluable opportunity for growth and learning. During my travels, I had many amazing adventurexperiences. I hiked through the lush green jungles of Thailand, explored ancient temples in Cambodia, and swam in the crystal clear waters of Indonesia. I also had met many interesting people from all over the world, and learned about their cultures and perspectives. Through these adventures, I gained a new sense of confidence and independence. I discovered that I am capable of adapting to new situations and overcoming challenges. I alsoAdditionally, I developed a greater appreciation for the diversity and beauty of the world around me. Seeking adventure has become an important part of my life. Whether it's traveling to a new place, trying a new hobby, or taking on a new challenge at work, I am always looking for ways to push myself and grow as a person. I believe that embracing adventure is key to living a fulfilling and meaningful life. In conclusion, adventure has played a significant role in shaping who I am today. It has taught me valuable lessons about myself and the world, and has given me memories and experiences that will last a lifetime. I am grateful for the adventures I have had, and I look forward to many more in the future, as I continue to seek out opportunities for personal growth and exploration.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the topic of adventure in the writer's life, presenting a clear personal narrative with relevant examples from Southeast Asia. Key strengths include a well-organized structure and vivid imagery that enhances the reader's engagement. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the conclusion to summarize key lessons more explicitly and improving transitions between ideas for better coherence. Minor grammatical errors were corrected, and some repetitive phrases were replaced to enhance lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider range. The tone used is appropriate for a personal narrative, maintaining a reflective and engaging style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the writer's adventures, contributing to overall coherence. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing specific adventures to the broader implications of seeking adventure could benefit from clearer linking phrases. Using more varied cohesive devices would enhance the flow.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are minor errors, such as 'the idea of exploring' instead of 'the idea of exploring' and 'I also had met' instead of 'I also met.' These errors do not significantly impede understanding but do detract from the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for minor grammatical mistakes and aim for more complex sentence structures.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'lush green jungles' and 'crystal clear waters' adding vivid imagery. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'adventure' and 'new experiences,' which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety. To improve, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider range.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of adventure in the writer's life and presents a clear personal narrative. It includes relevant examples of experiences in Southeast Asia, demonstrating how these adventures contributed to personal growth. However, the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the key lessons learned more explicitly. To improve, the writer could include more specific details about the challenges faced during these adventures.
7.5

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