Write about the following topic: Describe a teacher who has influenced you in your education. You should say: Where you met them What subject they taught What was special about them And explain why this person influenced you so much. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The teacher who has been most influencetial to me in my education is Mrs. Patel, whom I met in my high school. Mrs. Patel was teachingtaught us the subject of biology. She was a special teacher because she had a very interactive and engaging teaching style. Mrs. Patel would always bring the lessons to livfe with fascinating real-world examples and hands-on experiments. Instead of just learning from textbooks, in Mrs. Patel's class we would do things like growing bacteria in petri dishes to see how they spread, or dissecting frogs to study their anatomy first-hand. She makede the subject of biology very exciting and interesting to learn about. Another thing that made Mrs. Patel special is that she really cared about her students individually. She would take the time to learn each student's strengths and weaknesses. Then she would givinge us personalized feedback and extra help in the areas that wwhere were struggled with. She never made me feel dumb when I had trouble understanding something. She was always patiencet and encourage.ing. Mrs. Patel believed in mey potential and pushed me to work hard and challenge myself. Her passion for the subject and dedication to her students is what influenced me to pursue a career in medicine. To theseis day, I still remember all the valuable lessons and study skills that I learned from her biology class. I am very grateful to have had such a wonderful teacher like Mrs. Patel in my education.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by providing a detailed description of Mrs. Patel and her influence on the writer's education. Key strengths include a clear focus on the teacher's methods and personal care for students, which adds depth to the narrative. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for smoother transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and ensuring proper spelling. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary further to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures to enhance sophistication. The tone used is appropriate for the task, conveying gratitude and respect towards the teacher.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing teaching methods to her personal care for students could be better linked. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'influence' instead of 'influential,' 'giving' instead of 'gave,' and 'patience' instead of 'patient.' These errors affect the clarity of the writing. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'interactive and engaging teaching style' and 'personalized feedback.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'special teacher' and 'influenced me,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, minor spelling errors like 'maked' and 'realy' detract from the overall quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by describing Mrs. Patel, the teacher who influenced the writer's education. It provides relevant details about where they met, the subject taught, and what made her special. However, the response could be improved by providing a clearer explanation of why she influenced the writer, perhaps by elaborating on specific skills or values learned.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."