Write about the following topic: Describe what you have done today so far, from the time you woke up until now. Include details about your morning routine, meals, activities, interactions with others, and anything else you did. You should write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to describe a daily routine, which is a key strength. The chronological structure aids in coherence, allowing the reader to follow the sequence of events easily. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical variety. The original essay contained numerous grammatical errors that affected clarity, such as incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement issues. The revised version addresses these errors and enhances the overall readability. Structural changes made include correcting verb tenses and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, as well as improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, some vocabulary has been varied to avoid repetition and enhance lexical richness. For further improvements, the writer could elaborate on their feelings and interactions during the activities to add depth to the narrative. Incorporating more sensory details would also enrich the description. The tone used is appropriate for a personal narrative, maintaining a conversational style that is suitable for the task.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure and follows a chronological order, which aids in coherence. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel abrupt or disjointed. For example, transitions between activities could be smoother. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use linking words such as 'after that,' 'then,' and 'finally' more effectively.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('been' should be 'have been,' 'waked' should be 'woke'), and issues with subject-verb agreement ('I cleaning' should be 'I cleaned'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks variety. Words like 'go,' 'make,' and 'work' are repeated, which detracts from the overall lexical richness. The writer could improve by incorporating synonyms or more descriptive language, such as 'prepare' instead of 'make' and 'commute' instead of 'ride.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by describing the writer's morning routine and activities up to the present time. However, it lacks depth in detail and could benefit from more elaboration on interactions with others and specific feelings about the activities. To improve, the writer could include more sensory details or reflections on their experiences.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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