Write about the following topic: Drug abuse is becoming more and more common in many countries. What are some of the problems associated with drug abuse, and what are some of the possible solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, drug abuse has become an increasing problem in many countries overaround the world. There are several reasons whichthat can lead to drug abuse, such as peer pressure, stress, and curiosity. Drug abuse can cause many problems not only for the individual abuser but also for the society as a whole. Firstly, drug abuse can have detrimental effects on a person's health. When someone abuses drugs, they may experience health problems such as lung or heart disease, stroke, cancer, and mental disorders. Furthermostre, drug abuse often leads to addiction. Once a person is addicted, it is very hard for them to quit the habit. They may need professional help to successfully quit and start leading a normal life again. Secondly, drug abuse can lead to social problems. Drug abusers often have difficulty holding down a job or attending school. As a result, they may resort to crime to get money to support their habit. This can, leading to a vicious cycle of crime and poverty. Additionally, drug abuse can tear families apart. Children of drug abusers are more likely to be abused or neglected. T, and they may also start using drugs themselves, continuing the cycle of abuse. There are some possible solutions to thise drug abuse problem. Firstly, Eeducation is key to preventing drug abuse before it starts. Children need to be taught about the dangers of drugs at an early age. They should know that drugs are addictive and can ruin their lives. Secondly, treatment for drug addiction must be more readily available and affordable. There should be more rehab centeres and support groups to help people quit using drugs. Finally, the government should crack down on drug dealers and make it more difficult for people to obtain illegal drugs. In conclusion, drug abuse is a serious problem with many negative consequences. It is important to take action to prevent and treat drug abuse. Only by working together we can we hope to make progress in the fight against this growing problem.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the problems associated with drug abuse and potential solutions, demonstrating a clear position throughout. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant examples that support the main ideas. However, there are critical areas for improvement, such as enhancing the engagement of the introduction and the clarity of the conclusion. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and replacing repetitive phrases to enhance lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more significantly and incorporating more synonyms for 'drug abuse' to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of drug abuse, contributing to overall coherence. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall fluency of the text.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are some minor errors, such as 'lead' instead of 'leads' in 'drug abuse often lead to addiction,' and occasional awkward constructions that affect clarity. Improving sentence variety and correcting these errors would enhance the overall grammatical accuracy.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'detrimental effects,' 'vicious cycle,' and 'rehab centers' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'drug abuse,' which could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical variety. Additionally, the phrase 'furthermost' should be corrected to 'furthermore.'
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the problems associated with drug abuse and potential solutions. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively to enhance clarity.
7.5

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